AutophobicLostSoul
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- Mar 8
- United States
- Deviant for 7 years
- They / Them
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My Bio
"Autophobia: Autophobia, also called monophobia, isolophobia, or eremophobia, is the specific phobia of isolation; a morbid fear of being egotistical, or a dread of being alone or isolated."
I wish I didn't feel so alone even when around all these people
Hi! My name is Ari, I've been on deviant art for quite awhile now but decided to make a desperate account in order to be able to vent, and get away from the people who knew me. No I'm not abandoning my old account, I'm honestly rather active there, I just wanted a home of solitude.
I'm 15 soon, I do art but that's not going to be the focus of this account, I'm questioning if I'm trans or not while scared to go anywhere because I feel like people will just think badly of me because of it, or yell at me for it. And im scared of what I'm feeling, or if I'm even interpreting my feelings correctly at all. I don't know if I'm right or if I'm just believing something I'm not.
I'm taken by a wonderful guy who's really cool as well.
I listen to a lot of music with a wide range of things. I like Hamilton or any kind of musical, Aerosmith, journey, MCR, TOP, etc etc. the list goes on for a long way.
I'm not big into TV, and I love talking to people usually.
Im not that one angsty teen on DA that constantly talks about dieing I promise/// eventhoughthisisreallyangstysofaromgimsosorry
I wish I didn't feel so alone even when around all these people
Hi! My name is Ari, I've been on deviant art for quite awhile now but decided to make a desperate account in order to be able to vent, and get away from the people who knew me. No I'm not abandoning my old account, I'm honestly rather active there, I just wanted a home of solitude.
I'm 15 soon, I do art but that's not going to be the focus of this account, I'm questioning if I'm trans or not while scared to go anywhere because I feel like people will just think badly of me because of it, or yell at me for it. And im scared of what I'm feeling, or if I'm even interpreting my feelings correctly at all. I don't know if I'm right or if I'm just believing something I'm not.
I'm taken by a wonderful guy who's really cool as well.
I listen to a lot of music with a wide range of things. I like Hamilton or any kind of musical, Aerosmith, journey, MCR, TOP, etc etc. the list goes on for a long way.
I'm not big into TV, and I love talking to people usually.
Im not that one angsty teen on DA that constantly talks about dieing I promise/// eventhoughthisisreallyangstysofaromgimsosorry
Favourite Visual Artist
Vivsiepop, Flynnmutt,
Favourite Movies
Finding neverland, Zootopia
Favourite TV Shows
Sherlock
Favourite Books
Will Grayson, Will grayson
Why did you make this account?
0 min read
It made me thing a lot when I got the question,,
but i think...that I made it because I wanted a get away almost.
I had my last account for four years and knew everyone off of it. I wasn't getting any new comers or new conversations going because of it.
So I think making the new account was a way to get on DA and not be judged for past vent art or conversation on my profile, to meet new people and start from scratch.
It's not like this will be perminant, but I still like having it here right now. It gives me something new to anchor down with.
And I appreciate that a lot.
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Profile Comments 11
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Ok so i was reading your page
and as a trans ftm (which im assuming you are questioning)
I got a lot of support in my community even from homophobes. Just tell them to kindly FUCK OFF. I think it was the best decision of my life even though i questioned it for years. It took me 4 years to finally come to terms with it but what im trying to say is no one's gonna yell at ya for it.
and as a trans ftm (which im assuming you are questioning)
I got a lot of support in my community even from homophobes. Just tell them to kindly FUCK OFF. I think it was the best decision of my life even though i questioned it for years. It took me 4 years to finally come to terms with it but what im trying to say is no one's gonna yell at ya for it.
Well that's definitely really nice to hear// it makes me feel a lot better aha
i think my biggest thing was talking to people about it and because of the fact I'm so unsure and mislead with how I feel it came off badly or they didn't get it at all. I tried talking to someone before (he was ftm and I thought I could talk to him because he had gone through it n all) and he got angry saying that it wasn't just a fad to follow, or just doing it because you dislike a small part about being a girl. I don't know if it was my feelings, the way I expressed them, or him, and I've had yet to really figure it out.
so I don't really thing that experience helped much with it, I've been told to talk to people again but it's hard getting out there. its just been a weird jumble of mess lately really.
Sorryforthewallofventnall//sweats
i think my biggest thing was talking to people about it and because of the fact I'm so unsure and mislead with how I feel it came off badly or they didn't get it at all. I tried talking to someone before (he was ftm and I thought I could talk to him because he had gone through it n all) and he got angry saying that it wasn't just a fad to follow, or just doing it because you dislike a small part about being a girl. I don't know if it was my feelings, the way I expressed them, or him, and I've had yet to really figure it out.
so I don't really thing that experience helped much with it, I've been told to talk to people again but it's hard getting out there. its just been a weird jumble of mess lately really.
Sorryforthewallofventnall//sweats
??!?! THATS FUCKED UP.
I think he was mostly trying to make sure you knew what you were talking about. My parents still think it's a phase. BUT HE SURE WASNT A HELP IF ThEY KNOCKED YA DOWN THAT MUCH!
What are ya feeling if I may ask? It's different for everyone but i got really dysphoric about my chest.
I think he was mostly trying to make sure you knew what you were talking about. My parents still think it's a phase. BUT HE SURE WASNT A HELP IF ThEY KNOCKED YA DOWN THAT MUCH!
What are ya feeling if I may ask? It's different for everyone but i got really dysphoric about my chest.
Dusjdjekjdnd maybe so,, I honestly didn't think of it that way that would make the most sense.
I guess...I'm not sure. I don't hate my body, I can't, it's healthy and pretty decent I just...don't feel right in it?
Its hard to explain and I feel really weird about it. I'm really used to being sure of everything, or having some slight understanding or advice to give. And now I'm sitting here in a situation that has me absolutly lost and wandering in circles. It's an off feeling I can't place, and since dysphoria and stuff is different for everyone there's no way I can officially pin point it in any way.
I guess...I'm not sure. I don't hate my body, I can't, it's healthy and pretty decent I just...don't feel right in it?
Its hard to explain and I feel really weird about it. I'm really used to being sure of everything, or having some slight understanding or advice to give. And now I'm sitting here in a situation that has me absolutly lost and wandering in circles. It's an off feeling I can't place, and since dysphoria and stuff is different for everyone there's no way I can officially pin point it in any way.
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